Seeing the success President Biden’s son had blowing paint out of his nose (an improvement in cash flow and health to pulling various white chemicals in), a local Nevada artist was inspired to eat her way to similar fame. Using the nom de plume Hunter Biteme (in honor of her two favorite pastimes: hunting mice and biting me), the artist known to her friends as Twinkles creates fanciful, historical, paleontological and zoological works in the medium known as “Fancy Feast” (usually found in the pet food aisle rather than the art aisle). Presented here and below are a variety of the most important works in her catalog. No. 1 (above) is an Elephant standing atop the world and, er, doing something. Fertilizing the fields continent by continent I think. Terry Pratchett fans will understand. Luckily for us, "Finish your plate" isn't in her lexicon.
Another fanciful (feast) trumpeting Elephant from Hunter Biteme! Or is she predicting the 2022 "Red Wave"?
Hunter ate a new heart with a happy-ish face (sort of a bit of a hangover face)! There is also a buzzard at the top. Let your imagination Soar!
The dreaded Triclops! Ms. Biteme has been watching Svengoolie again!
SLAM DUNK! Hunter Biteme shows an appreciation of March Madness. Leroy Neiman would be proud (in a monochrome sort of way!).
Beware! A Cyclops!
A Russian Imperial Eagle! Or a Pterodactyl.
MEET THE ARTIST
The nom de plume "Hunter Biteme" has brought local artist Twinkles worldwide fame, adulation and untold wealth for her contributions to the Art Whorl.
All these Masterpieces are for sale. Payment firms accepted are PayPal-o-Tuna, Venmosalmon or Masterchicken.
She has taken on the role of Muse, and sits behind my computer to inspire me. Or is it because the router is back there and it is warm? Probably the latter, but every artist needs a muse.
The Eye sees all. Whatever you do, don't stick your hand in there.
Why the arm of only this particular easy chair is on her list for repose beats me. But she causes it no harm. And she poses nicely from there.
She had been dropped off at the Pound with a broken tail. The vets decided it couldn't be saved and amputated it. Because of her age and abbreviated tail, she was considered a "hard to place" cat by the pound.
One wag said about this page, "Mr. John does deviate some attention to his equally sequestered, menagerie of domesticated felines. Evidently, 'they' are Mr. John's emotional support system for continued sanity, during these socially challenged times of being quarantined." No, they are (or were) pets. Currently, only Twinkles lives here. The others are deceased (except Panzer, my neighbor's cat).
A
How was I to know my fireplace contained a Gollum?
I nicknamed my neighbor's cat Panzer and he answers to it (at least to me).
Old Bob, the House Lizard has been chased to refuge in the amaryllis.
Maus
Some of the firearm photos are © FMG Publications, since they were taken by me to illustrate stories written for GUNS Magazine. Everything else is ©2022 by Jeff John. All rights reserved, whether my copyright or FMG's!
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